Single & Pregnant

Add a Comment

25 Comments

Comment by Mary on October 12, 2009 at 5:42pm

Okay, so here I am. Single and pregnant - again. Thought I'd ramble on here, because I feel so stupid, and just need to get this off my chest. I am 37 years old. I patiently waited for 14 years, through two marriages before I was finally blessed with my daughter. I tried to stick it out with her father for 15 months after she was born, because I wanted her to have a mom and a dad. I realize however, that this would not be safe for either of us, so I left. A nasty custody battle ensued, and $14,000 later, I had full custody. A year after I left O's dad, I was asked out on my first date. Gorgeous guy, turned out to be nothing he said he was. Turned out to be a mooch, drunk, and emotionally needy. But I wanted a sibling for my daughter. I think I should mention here that somewhere along the line, before I had O, I made a somewhat conscious decision, that I had done all the right things, but still had no child, no marriage, and that I would provide myself with what I wanted. So along came O and T. \

Then, I met someone I thought was THE ONE. And he was, until I became pregnant. I had said that I did not want another child unless it was with someone who was forever, and wanted that child. So we tried to get pregnant. I was so happy when I found out, but then his temper showed up. I began to be afraid of him. I can see now, that the signs were there, but I guess I ignored them because I wanted that fairy tale. Oh dear God, I just described what could be a very common thing as a fairy tale! It seems like a loving relationship with children and stability is a fairy tale these days!

So now I am old, single and pregnant with my third child with a third daddy. How do I go on? I have come to the conclusion that I will never have what I want, except for my children. I chose my lot in life, for the most part. Like I shot myself in the foot. I have no point to these ramblings. It just feels good to confess how stupid one person could be. I am still hopefull about being able to do this on my own. I am educated, make good money when I am working (damn economy), and have a strong will. Anyway, if you were feeling bad about your circumstances, just know it could be worse.

Comment by Monika on September 20, 2009 at 12:50am

I sure wish I had found this group when I was single and pregnant. I joined so I could tell you all that you are amazing women! You can do it and even when things are looking bleek...interestingly, things fall into their places.

I am in awe when I look at my son and realize I did this! From WIC and food stamps to having our own place and a great job. Please let me know if any of you have any questions or need any words of encouragement:-)

Comment by Jessica on September 7, 2009 at 7:06pm

Hello my name is Jessica and I am almost 33. I am also 8 and a half weeks pregnant with my first child. I spent the past 15 years of my life in college and in my career, laying the foundation for the fairy tale I hoped to someday have. My pregnancy was an accident after a rebound "fling" with someone who lives out of state. My ex boyfriend and I were together 4 years and had been broken up about 4 months when the fling occurred. When I told my ex about the pregnancy, out of chivalry and a good heart at first he wanted to raise the child as his own and get married, but that soon fissled out once he realized the magnitude of what he would be facing. The biological father is not happy about the pregnancy and wanted me to abort. He is the first to say he very unstable emotionally and financially, unfortunately, and it doesnt help he lives out of state. So in considering that, I just don't know what kind of contribution he will make to my child's life besides his good looks! He He! I know, I know, sounds like a soap opera. Ah! Well anyway, I am here and I am happy to be blessed with this gift from God, so I am going to give it a whirl and hopefully do everything exactly right. Lol, we will see.

Comment by Pailin on August 26, 2009 at 12:40pm

Amethyst- BTW be prepared that some supermarket employees will roll their eyes when you hand them the check.....it's just more work for them to do. I called and complained to a manager once and he took care of it. You'll get used to it though.

Comment by Pailin on August 26, 2009 at 12:38pm

Amethyst- Looks like you are on the right track. You will get there one day. The person you are meeting to share housing and daycare...do you know her? Just be on the a little cautious side.

It was a little embarassing at first when I used my WIC check but now I'm like Oh please I need it! lol. I just recently applied for food stamps as well. My situation is a little different about the baby daddy. He wants to be in my life and the children's life. I chose to leave because he was mentally, verbally, and physically abusive with me. It's been 2 weeks and he's still emailing me about how he wants me to come home.

Comment by Pailin on August 26, 2009 at 5:14am

Amethyst- first write down all your bills. Then figure out what you can afford. Look for a 1 bdrm. Try govt assitance ( I'm considered low income but not much help from govt...only when you're considered in poverty then they will help..but just try). Do you family near you? If yes, reach out to them. Take the father to court to get child support once you have the baby. You can do it..keep your head up. PS: try wic...they give you milk,formula etc...

Comment by Pailin on August 24, 2009 at 12:50pm

Alica- You can do it. I have two kids and pregnant with my third. It's been 2 weeks that I'm single. God gave us women the strength to care for our children that's why men are just donors haha. Good luck!

Comment by Alicia on May 16, 2009 at 8:03am

I am 29 weeks pregnant with my first child; a boy. I was with his father till I was 16 weeks; at which time he fired me (I was running his restaurant) saying that I had changed since I got pregnant and it was all about me (Sorry I couldn't work 15 hours a day, 7 days a week anymore, buddy!) told me his whole life had to revolve around his work and he did not think he wanted to be with me anymore. He did not even bat an eyelash when I moved out and has decided he wants nothing to do with us. He has moved in with his ex, whom I suspected he was seeing while we were together. I am scared and lonely and hope to god I can do this. My little boy deserves the world and I hope I can give it to him.

Comment by Marynia on March 22, 2009 at 9:26am

Hi, it's great to find an online community like this. I'm about 22 weeks pregnant with a little boy. I'm in a grad school, too, and was caught off guard by the whole shebang. The baby-daddy is an old college acquaintance who is a bad influence, so I've told him to buzz off until he gets himself in order. I have to say this experience has been very empowering... I'm the first in my network of friends to have a kid, especially in this circumstance, but I've always liked thinking of myself as a pioneer.

Comment by Sara on February 17, 2009 at 12:31pm

Hi my name is Sara and I am 26 weeks pregnant with my first child, a little girl. The day I told my bf I was pregnant he told me he was seeing someone else. So far this entire time I've been pregnant I've talked to him a grand total of 5 hours total. He doesn't answer the phone when I call, return any of my calls or messages and just basically acts like me and our little girl aren't happening. We've had an up and down relationship on and off for over 6 years and this is how its ending. He did manage to show up for the ultrasound but all he did was complain the whole time about having to by new stuff because he has a 4 year old boy with someone else. Now I'm in this alone and trying to create the best life possible for my daughter without him.

• 1
• 2
• 3