Were you a slob before you had kids?

[Ryan]

I am a slob. Always have been. I remember as a teenager, my mom would throw a rake into my room and tell me to rake my floor! I leave towels on the bathroom floor, empty pizza boxes in the fridge, clothes all over the floor, etc. The only things I keep clean are the kitchen (except the fridge, lol) and the living room. My car is even worse. It's so bad that no one can even ride with me! There's no room! I am embarrassed and I don't care at the same time.

Everyone told me I would change when I had kids. Well, I had one and I ain't changed a bit! My kid is clean and his bottles are all sterile, etc, but his clothes are thrown around like mine are. Is anyone else like this or am I the only one? How do I stop?

HELP I'm addicted to being a slob!

[Love]

I'm the same way! My bedroom is the worst though, you can barely walk through it for all the clothes on the floor. I've been trying to do better lately, I've actually kept my living room clean for a whole week. That's a record for me! My car is a mess too. There are juice stains and trash all in it but nobody rides in it but my son and I so it doesn't really bother me. That might be because I'm single right now too lol.

[Ryan]

I know! Everyone tells me I'll never get a boyfriend because of my car. I even took the bulb out of the dome light so at night when I open my door, people can't see in! LMAO. One time I visited my 83 year old grandma and she wanted me to take her to lunch. She had to ride in the backseat because there was too much junk up front. My whole family refers to it as the "Driving Miss Daisy" incident. LOL. I just can't get a handle on my laundry either. I let the clothes sit in the dryer and I pick through them to find out what I want to wear that day, ironing it if neccessary. Hangers??? What are THOSE?? I have a closet full of them, but no clothes. Clean clothes are kept in the dryer or the laundry basket. I'm such a mess. :)

[Stacey]

I'm the same way!! Bedroom doors are kept shut for two reasons, to keep my son from wandering and hurting himself, and to keep people from seeing the mess. My car isn't nealy as bad since I'm the primary driver.....mom's tags are expired and she refuses to drive, and my sister is too cheap to front the money for a car. I rarely hang up, fold, or sort clean clothes. It's kept in the dryer until I need it, or kept in the laundry basket in my room next to the crib. lol.

I think it's a habit we've picked up as teens, and just never made the effort to change it. lol.

[Ryan]

Wow, I have found MY PEOPLE! LOL.

[Stacey]

I think so! lol

[Jen]

There is a great book called The One Minute Organizer Plain and Simple. I use this book on a semi-daily basis. The idea is that if you do one thing per day for literally one minute, you will start to see progress. The very first step the author gives in all her books is to take a trash can and pick one room, and throw any obvious trash (i.e. wrappers, crinkled up papers, etc) and the second step is to go through and pick up all dishes and return them to the kitchen.

I specialize in working with OCD and hoarding, and this idea that someone is a "slob" comes up often with hoarders (aka packrats). One of the steps in treatment is to examine the behavior and the thinking behind it. In most cases, the person has so much running through their head - for example, what's next on my to do list? - that they "forget" to finish the task they are doing, such as hanging up the towels or putting the clothes in the basket. Their brain just hits capacity and moves on to the next thing.

I don't know if this describes you at all - like I said, this is for most people, not necessarily your specific reason for the behavior, but it is helpful to allow yourself the time to think about why you are doing the things you do. While our initial reaction might be "laziness" or "I hate to clean", 9 times out of 10 there is an underlying reason behind the behavior that is not so easily explained. With mindfulness techniques and observing your own behaviors, you CAN correct - or at least start to change - some of this stuff :)

There are really great workbooks and authors out there, let me know if you're interested.

[WhisperingWinds]

I was miss clean and neat. One of my kids has autism and she makes messes. Drive me nuts sometimes but I have gotten used to be less orderly. When you work and juggling everythng it is hard to keep up on things. I thought I was bad but then I saw a tv show where kids in thier teens had never seen a dustpan before. scary. there is messy and then there is just filfhty. my best friend can be slob but underneat the clutter, things are pretty clean. her daughter who is mentally ill, i cannot even walk into her home anymore to dirty. it smells everything is covered in dirty and is sticky.

[uomeasmile (Kim)]

With three kids, my house can become a mess! There are days when I've had it, and will set the kitchen timer for ten minutes... during that ten minute time frame it is amazing how much the kids and I can get done. I'm becoming very organized now, because the chaos I left behind in the old home was overwhelming. I will say that once your son gets older, it would be helpful to be organized when he starts school. My best advice is to find a neat freak and let them teach you. That's what I did... and it helped tremendously. I am a work in progress. I once heard a saying, "Messy bed, messy head." Meaning if your surroundings are chaotic, so is your mind. That might not be true for you... but I feel more relaxed knowing that things are in order. I'm always interested in people's suggestions... so great thread!

[Jen]

Kim, you are right on with this. Whenever I have a client come in with problems sleeping, I ask them, "Tell me what your bedroom looks like." 99.999% of the time their bedroom (or where they sleep) is cluttered and disorganized. Your surroundings definitely affect how you feel and how you think.

And this is not to say that I have mastered this! Right now, I feel pretty overwhelmed but my house is full of dirty laundry to do, dishes to do, the dining room table to clean off, etc etc etc.

[WhisperingWinds]

my trick is dumping stuff i do not want and not bring stuff into the house but the timer is a gread idea. it is how schools are run and they do a lot of work in a short amt of time.

go through your mail asap and dump all junk mail. i quickly go through store fliers to grab the sales items i need not want. rewarding kids with a simple star and sticker system on the fridge of scheduled chores is a cheap and easy way to get the kids going. give yourself a star too mom!