Ugh, Been Single 2 years and Not 1 Date

[trisha]

I was feeling fulfilled by my life, until recently. Going to grad school, raising my son, hanging out with great friends....... This should be enough for a woman, right. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I start getting this feeling that something is missing. And the next thing I know this feeling turns into an all out pity party. What's wrong with me, why doesn't any man act interested in me? But then I realize I am not interested in anybody. Why am I not meeting people that make me blush, or make me want to stay up all night getting to know them, or even make me a little curious. Is this a dilemma of the 30-something set, the single-mama crowd, or is it me?

[Jenn]

not just you! I have been single for almost 4 years now, and only had a handful of guys even peak my interest! most of them have been in the last 4 months, and now I feel "boy crazy". Give it time, you are probably sending out signals to people that you are not interested and dont even realize it! It will happen when you are ready.

[trisha]

Thanks Jenn. That's what I keep hearing. Where are the men anyway? How have you meet these handful?

[Jenn]

I went through a few "set ups" otherwise I have met them when I go out with friends to the Local bar to watch a band and do some dancing. I actually have a "date" tomorrow night, although we both agreed that it is not technically because that sounds so official, tomorrow night from an old friend that found me on facebook! Most of the guys that I have met out havent made it past a 1st date.

[Mr. Green]

"Where are the men anyway?" Girl, we are everywhere! Jenn hit it on the nose with the "signals" thing.....guys don't approch when you have "Back Off" stamped on your forehead!

[uomeasmile (Kim)]

Mr. Green, you have made me laugh. You should start a thread on "forehead stamps." We all have them. And out of curiosity, what does your forehead say?

I read my husband's divorce proposal today, so mine must say "Damn Fool!" But he is obviously illiterate.

[Rebekah]

Trisha,
I totally relate! I am finishing my undergraduate, raising three kids and applying to grad school, and then WA~LA, I start to get that feeling, that I want to be remarried or at the very least in a relationship. That having been said, I dont even have time to shave my legs, let alone nurture a new relationship! Not to mention the gross lack of stimulating conversation, beyond the cliche' pick up lines. I have found that this to shall pass, spend a couple of nights hanging with friends, and remembering what you enjoy beyond being a student and a mom, and you will make it through..........until the next time!
Rebekah

[Jenn]

They totally come out of the woodwork when they start! I have my 1st one in a while, and this afternoon was asked out by another guy for the same night! just wait when it does it might be overwhelming!

[Apples]

Been there DOING that.

[uomeasmile (Kim)]

First of all, don't we all need a pity party now and then? Have one -- get your girlfriends, some wine, and have what I call a "bithcy" sleepover. Just bitch about everything... how hard it is to be a single mom, school, and the best topic of all *men.* Get that out of your system in a fun way.

But I do thing guys pick up on vibes very well. So be confidant and have a good time. And then as the terrible cliche goes, the right man will come along when you least expect it. But they are called cliches for a reason... they work!

And I think you are right about this being a dilemma of the 30 something single mama set. I would say surround yourself with awesome girlfriends, go out, have fun just for the sake of having fun, and if the *great guy* comes along fantastic! If not, you are still having an awesome time with the girls.

Blah, blah, blah... it always sounds oversimplified. But give it a try, and best wishes!

[Ms. Single Mama]

You're probably just way out of practice. I made a video on this... on how to date as a single mom - here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgH4w-L0ioA&feature=channel_page

I hope it helps. The biggest piece of advice I can give you is to open your eyes because the men are around. And the butterflies will come when you're ready - sometimes when you're on the third or fourth date.

[trisha]

Thank you Ms. Single Mama. This video really hit was is happening. I actually got to go out on Saturday, for the first time in years, and I felt something shift in me. I think I am back. It's about time. Again thanks for all your help. I love your blog.

[Paul]

When the time is right you will date. I'm going on 51/2 years since my ex and I split and I do not see me dating again anytime too soon. I made too many sacrifices during that horrid marriage, I caved too much, I compromised too mush and for what? Didn't make the marriage work and I ended up were I expected but it only took alot longer.

For me, when I am ready to want someone's opinion or influence in my and mine boys life I will date and that time has yet to arrive. I know my reasons why I do not date and if you sat and really thought about it you will find yours. Once you do, then you will know when the time comes to date again. Good luck with that and Peace.
Paul