Rant 06/02/08

[Scott]

It's been a while since I have been here. I need to vent.

2005- My ex wife left me for a woman.

2006- She moved to New Mexico with my kids to live with a woman she met on myspace.

2008- My ex told my children and I that the summer of 2009 they are all moving back hereto the Portland metro area.

Tonight: My ex called me and said they aren't moving here until 2010. Apparently they cannot find jobs here and cannot afford to move because of he economy.

So another year without my children.

I hate her.

I hate her for marrying me and staying with me for 12 years knowing the entire time she was a lesbian.

I hate her for moving us away from California and everything we knew and loved so she could come out of the closet away from her family.

I hate her for blaming the divorce on me, as if I turned her gay.

Most of all, I hate her for taking my kids thousands of miles away from me.

I know the bible says to forgive. But this is a challenge.

It's hard not to hate the person that took your children.

[uomeasmile (Kim)]

Oh Scott, I really feel for you. I can't imagine the hurt of not having your children near you. I think you know our stories have some similarities. My husband decided he was gay ten years and three kids into a marriage. Most of my friends think I should hate him most for hurting me. But I don't. I hate him most for making me think I deserved it. And really I don't "hate" him... I hate his actions. I hate that he doesn't take responsibility for his part of this marriage failing. I found out he was gay from some friends and his internet postings. He was having anonymous sex with men while working at a hospital in another part of the state. He put my life at risk. He did give me an STD... one that I could get rid of thank goodness.

But for you... this is all happening without having the silver lining... your precious children. I can't say anything to make the hurt go away. My hope is that she will realize that kids need and deserve a father. You are their father, and you have every right to see them often. After all my husband put me through, I still gave him 50/50 custody. I was a stay at home mom. I didn't choose to change sexual preferences and leave a marriage. But you know what... there is *no way* I would keep my girls from their daddy. I hope her heart softens and she can see that your children are half of you... and they need you. There are no right words for this situation. I hope your ex will make things right sooner rather than later.

By the way, it's great to see a post from you. I see you on your ever popular 'Ask a Man Anything,' but I'm glad you vented. Take care my friend. I'm sending prayers your way. Blessings, The Smiley Girl

[Ron]

Wow, dont know what to say to this other then you might hate her for this and that and ui can understand your pain really. I dated a girl once that was bi she actually was mainly with females untill she met me but she as well was into drugs. I thought i could change her and it was good for a ok for a while but the thing is she couldnt get off the drugs so i had to leave and well she now gay and only into women. That might not help but the one thing even though you hate her for all those things there is one thing you cant hate her for. And thats for having your kids. I cant imagine going with out my kids for as long as you have. if killed me when my oldest sons mom took my son across state line and a week later i went and got him legally and then when my ex wife took my two youngest kids and kept them fromem for three weeks that hurt but to go as long as you have it would killed me. But dude i have to say one thing. If she means what she says about 210 coming abck i say just think postive about those days and soon you will see those kids.

[Scott]

Thx guys. Anybody know how to make a proper Voodoo Doll?

[argonaut (Scott)]

I could dig out my voodoo doll kit. I think is buried under some papers on my desk. It came with a doll some stick a manual. I don't think it is witch doctor approved.

Sounds like she is PBH(pyscho bitch from hell).

[Scott]

Nope.

LBH (lesbian beyatch from hell)

[Don S.]

The act of allowing women to freely take kids away from father's who want to be involved in their lives after a seporation has formed it's own special place in Hell. It's where the lawmakers, lawyers, judges and activists will do time hopefully if there is any justice in the afterlife.

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Voodoo-Doll

http://www.wikihow.com/Use-a-Voodoo-Doll

Maybe go see "Drag Me to Hell" this weekend too for some black humor.

PS (I know that there are plenty of great women and mom's here and who read this, I'm not talking about you ;o)

[Susan]

Don and all....can I just say, as someone who knows a Voudoun practitioner, that Voodoo dolls are not to be messed with lightly. Even if the intent is just humorous stress relief it can bring upon dangerous results to the party that made it. I am sure you had good intentions......smile. But having experience with these practices gives me a little knowledge. The law of 3 abounds in all magicks - whatever you send out into the universe comes back to you 3 fold. Even if just done in jest, the universe knows the true intent and intent is what brings about the "magick." And no, I am not weird. Just follow a different Path and know about these things. Believe me, Karma is out there and she can be a bitch....so whatever goes around comes around, in this life or the next. Scott's ex will get hers when she least expects it.

[Kelly]

I am new to this site but . . . . I know. It sucks and it just well , . . .you know . . . .sucks. Keeping kids away from their dad just doesn't float for me - despite everything in my situation which is really saying something. I make sure to work with my kids dad so that they see each other very frequently.

What does she say when you call her on this stuff?

[Scott]

She says it's all my fault because I could never make enough money to give her or the kids the things they deserve.She also says her being a lesbian has nothing to do with our divorce.

[Susan]

Ah, Scott. If my ex would just keep a job longer than 2 months I would be thrilled!! Don't believe that crap, please. Are she and her partner living in the lap of luxury? Probably not. So don't feed into the guilt trip. And if she had been honest and up front about her being a lesbian there probably wouldn't have been a marriage much less divorce, so that doesn't wash either. Even as bad as things are and have been with my ex, he still gets to see his children. They are his as well as mine. It was hard at first to let them go with him for a weekend but I survived it and we do okay now. In the meantime, if they "can't find jobs, whatever," the least she could do is let your children come and spend time with you for a week or so during the summer. Go to court for a custody arrangement if it wasn't put in place in the divorce. I did everything myself without an attorney. And if the arrangement was set up in the divorce then take her back to court. She is being unfair and illegally keeping your children from you.

[uomeasmile (Kim)]

Scott, my ex says the same thing. I just want to scream, "REALLY?" How can one's sexual preference NOT interfere with a marriage. Ugh... that touched a nerve... I have heard it a million times!

[Moonrose]

It's okay to feel that angry, if I were you I would be just as angry, especially when that person is taking your kids away from you. I hope you don't rant on her though or in front of the kids...it all is what it is, everything happens as it does for a reason whether we like it or not. That's the hardest part to accept sometimes. How are you staying in contact with your children?