PICS and MEMORIES OF THE EX (WHAT DOES ONE DO WITH THEM?)

[Ron]

I sit here and i think i am a fool. It has been 9 months since my ex wife left. She has moved on but have I? I was watching a video on youtube and it reminded me of her. It was Lonely Boy by Black Lab i think. Dumb ass me felt like just emailing the video to her. Like all the other times i sent her things and plead with her to give us a second chance wasnt good enough i really thought this would do it? God I am a fool. But i feel things and i have to act on them cause i feel if i dont then the one time i dont could have been the time i saved our marriage. Our marriage is pretty much over with. All now we waiting on is the lawyers paper work.

So after i sent that email video to her i was on my myspace adding pics. I use to have pics of her, her and the kids, and my soon to be ex step daughter available for all to see. Now those folders are set on privite so only i can see. But thats the thing. They are there for me to see. So everytime i add pics i see the folders of her, her and the kids, and Anastasia my step daughter. And sometimes ic atch my self going thru those folders of pics and going down memerie lane. Why am i doing this to my self? Why do i bring back the pain and the tears in my eyes? Why must i do this myself over and over again? I try to move on god i try. I go out and try to date, i try to put all my attention on my kids, i have even tried to hate my ex wife. But i cant. I cant get over her and move on. It has been 9 months and i should have moved on by now. She has. All other times i have been with another i have moved on faster. So why cant i move on now?

Some times i wish i could just put that brick wall back up. This was why at first i didnt give my ex wife all of me and all my trust, but i thought she was the one. After all the times i been hurt and abused mentally i felt naaa not this one. So i gave more to her with another. Now i screwed upa nd lost part of me i feel i can never get back. Now i am weak, now i am vulnerable. I need to get my self back to where i wasnt going to allow my self to get hurt again. I need to some how figure out how to close this off and to make sure is eal it to wher ethis never happens again. But how does one? DO i delete those pics off my myspace so i never see them again. I cant just forget her like i could my oldest sons mother or the other girls i have dated. I have to see her twice a week, well not in the summer time it is more like two times every two weeks. But still she is there, how do i let her go?

I know i know waa waa waa right? But the pain is here, the lost is here, the tears are hear, and the love is still here.

I have notice no one really reads my discussions and so forth so maybe this is a waste of time. I just have to believe out there is someone who is like me, who feels like me, needs like me and can accept the other like me. Someone has to get me besides me right? or am i truly alone in this world?

[Apples]

This is about the time I deleted the pictures I had of my ex from the net.... I kept one of my favorites of him and her up for a while longer but what I did is made a box (large one) and put everything in it. Pictures, letters, and so on.. It is now in storage for my daughter if she ever wants to go down memory lane. I figure it might be nice for her later. Although I am one that doesn't banish pictures of him from my house. I figure we did something great together. We made a wonderful little girl.. So yeah a good picture of him and her you might see framed. Most likely in her room though not going to have it over the mantle in the livingroom haha! I also kept my journal from when we were divorcing (not sure if i will ever share those but i have such a crap memory i gotta keep these things even if I am not going to ever look at them... guess i am a bit of a packrat though when it comes to this sort of thing)

[WhisperingWinds]

i think what you feel is normal. i find it odd when people cut out heads out of pictures. you have children with this person. you cannot cut them completly. what do you do cut out all the dna and all that looks like them out of the kids. i think it is normal to feel pain and grief. i think the key is how long it goes on and if it take control of ones life.

[Jeremy]

after awhile it just gets easier i have to see my ex 4 times a month twice in a day but she was the cause of why we broke up there is no love between us atleast from my side just put them on a disk and save them for the kid and get a lockbox or something to put it in out of sight out of mind

[Ron]

glad someone does lol ty

[Jen]

Keep them for your kids. My son's counselor has actually suggested that I make a nice photo collage or album for him of ALL of his family so that he has something to look at on a daily basis. It is supposed to help make him go through his ups and downs a little bit easier as he continues to get used to our life today. You might want to put yours in a box like Apples or pick one or two to display, but make sure your kids have a picture in their room of the ex and them together. And ask that your ex puts a picture of you and your kids together in their room at her house. I think it's harder on us than it is the kids (because I am struggling as I type to follow through with ordering the prints from our online photo album... it's hard to look at happy pictures from that time when I think of all the things that have happened since).

[Tiffany R]

Just delete your myspace and save the photos for your wallet or put them on display.

'Time' is life, they are part of your life, and the 'time' creating those are precious.

Love is what makes it all worth while and love creates the good stories. Keep the good stories coming....

[Ron]

ty all for your comments. Tiffany why would i delete my myspace? I use my myspace for family and friends to stay in contact with them as well thats where i store alot of my pics of em and my kids for my family and friends to see world wide. I understand maybe take the pics of the ex and stuff off my myspace even if they are set for privite view and such and maybe put them on a disc and store away some where but why would i delete my own myspace over this?

[Tiffany R]

I understand keeping in touch with friends and family/photo storage but....if the ex and her friends are on myspace, you can usually see what is going on and maybe it is better not to know or have that temptation of running into her on myspace. Just a thought. You have to do what best suits you and your family.

[Ron]

ok maybe i didnt say this right but i am not talking about her myspace or her friends. I am talking about pictures i have of her on MY myspace account and these pictures are set to where only i can see them. My ex deleted her account long time ago and her friends well once we divorced i deleted her friends. So i am only talking about pictures of her i have on my myspace that only i can see and memories. Sorry if i confussed you before

[Jen]

I don't have any pictures of my ex, nor do I want any. I gave him all the pictures of him and the kids and his family that I had when we divorced (with one exception, I kept the last picture of his grandparents before his grandpa died, we were very close). My mom is the cut him out of our lives type and that is exactly what she did. However, my oldest daughter has two photo colages in her room of all of her family, me and her dad when we were happy, my side his side. Even though he is not in her life, I still remind her how much he loves her, we talk about him I tell the kids stories from when they were younger and we were together. I can't hate the man who gave me such a beautiful daughter, I do however hate the things he does, like last night when she called him to wish him a happy father's day and he told her he was busy and would call her back, no call back as of yet.

[Ron]

I recall the night before she left we actually sit in the bed and went thru all the pics was the hardest thing i ever done. How does one seperate a familys life that way. A yr back on our anniversary i made her a big pic frame of many pics of all of us from like me and her and the kids our family and such is was likea family tree of the time we had together the first three yrs. She took that with her and just the other day i asked her if she still had it. She said yes it is in her hall way for the kids. I am stunned she still has it but to have it up wow. I mean since our divorce she has went back to her oldest daughters dad and he lives there and i cant imagine him being ok with a big multy pic frame of me and her and the kids and stuff.

[Brenda Shehadeh]

Hello Ron, We do not always plan for what happens in our lives. Yes it will either feel good or not. The main thing is to keep to keep it real with the children. Always tell the truth, age appropriate. For if not you can end up the bad guy. What is best for them. I talk with my 7 yr. old. Do you want this picture?????? If not I put it away. I thought to give one to dad that he did not want and he did not want me to. What they think they think and feel today may differ tomorrow, 2-20 yrs. from now. Allow them to make some decisions. Through teaching, talking, and reading with the kids, it helps to heal. It is a process. It is like a death, it is a loss. Only difference is that we have to deal with them...