Mother's Day

[Clare]

For all you Single Moms out there, what do you love the most about being a single mom, or what are you most proud about as a single mom?

The best response (as chosen by the community) will win a $50 gift card to Target!

[Diana]

What I love most about being a single mom is being there for the best moment of my sons life like the first time he sat up by himself (3 months old i have a picture of that), and his first steps and really all of his first. And being there to kiss him goodnight every night and kisses in the morning before he gets on the bus. I truely love be my little man's mom

[Tish]

Wow, tough question, you'd think it would have an easy answer.

I love that the girls love me best, and that they can depend on me for all their needs. I love being needed. I love being the coolest playmate in the world! I know I don't have to many years left where they will still think I'm "cool" so I thrive on the here and now. I love that at the end of the day I get the hugs and snuggles and "I love you Mama"s. I love that in the middle of the night when I hear an upset cry I become the hero when I chase the monster out of the room. I love bringing my little baby into my bed at 2 a.m. and snuggling with her, I don't have to rush her back to her crib because the bed is all mine now!

I'm so proud that my daughters are confident, outgoing, smart beautiful, crazy, active and all around perfect. They are that way because of me and I can't wipe the grin off my face when I get compliments on their good behaviour and excellent manners, I work very hard every day to make sure they are all those things.

[Jessica]

The best thing about being a single mom is looking into my little girl's eyes and knowing that there's no one in the whole world she loves and trusts more than me.

[Tiara]

It really is a blessing to be a single Mom! I a Huge Blessing! I don't have to fight with a spouse because they are not doing their part and I get to share the bed and sleep in with my lovely tot! Best of all
I get to be me!

[Candace]

I honestly think the best thing about being a Single Mom is that I know that no matter what great things I accomplish in this life... My son will always be the greatest thing I have ever been apart of creating. For me it was a completely terrifying but the most empowering thing in the world to become his mother and be single. I feel like I can do anything and the sky is the limit but no matter what I do now it all comes back to him!

[Bethany]

When I think about what makes me proud as a single mother, many things come to mind. However, it’s easy to decide what I’m most proud of and I remember the very moment I realized it.

If we listen to the statistics, all of our children should have major behavioral problems, chemical dependencies and/or be in jail – or at least be headed to those things. I had the misfortune a few years ago of sitting between two whining women at an event for divorced parents and was forced to listen to them refer to their divorce as the day their “kids were irrevocably traumatized”.

I've been divorced for nearly 13 years. I have always hated the tag, "broken home" because in my case, as in many, many cases - my home was broken when I was married. When I left - I fixed it. I committed to giving my children a happy, healthy, well-adjusted life and that meant I had to divorce their dad. I never once assumed that my kids were going to have behavioral, emotional or health problems simply because there was only one parent in their home. It's not always easy. It's not always fun. It IS, however, always, always, always worth the effort and whatever sacrifices are made. It is simply a decision that you make. I have great kids who don't consider themselves victims or measure their successes or failures based on a timeline that began when they were "traumatized". Why? Because it has NEVER occurred to me to use my divorce as a crutch or allow my kids to use it as an excuse to behave badly. It's never been an option.

I wouldn't suggest that two-parent homes aren't the ideal. I'm not suggesting that it doesn't matter whether kids have both parents in their lives or that input from both parents isn't very, very valuable or even that some children aren't more "traumatized" than others by their parent's divorce. What I would suggest is that the reported statistics on behavioral problems, emotional problems, incarceration, chemical dependency and suicide are not just the result of children growing up in single-parent homes - they're the result of how the grown ups deal with and prepare their children in the aftermath.

I know plenty of women and men who blame every single problem in their lives on their failed marriages/former spouses and if you want to cop out on taking responsibility for your own failures - knock yourself out. But let's be real. If your kids fall apart, misbehave, get pregnant, addicted to drugs, whatever....it's not because you got divorced. Not unless you use your divorce as a crutch to the degree that you cripple your children and their ability to take responsibility for their actions. You have a choice - you can either teach your kids to be victims - or teach them to rise above their circumstances. You can teach them to be statistics - or survivors. Make no mistake - it's entirely up to you. As far as I’m concerned – the statistics are the effect – the cause is parents not doing right by their kids.

We only get one chance to do the right thing with our kids. Don't sell them out. Feeling sorry for ourselves is not an option. Waiting around for years for the x-husband/wife to step up to the plate is not an option. The toughest, best and most important job we will ever have is raising our kids.

So, what am I most proud of? That I have two beautiful, brilliant, talented daughters who have never been and never will be a part of any statistics. Unless, of course, they are statistics measuring tremendous successes.

[Tiara]

THIS IS A WINNER!!

[Tish]

I'm with Tiara, Bethany you have my vote!

[Candace]

Bethany is my vote... you are a inspiration to single parents, you are a awesome Momma!

[Bethany]

Thank you. Sorry that it was a little long-winded.

[Clare]

Bethany, this is so powerful and so well written. I can tell it came from your heart, I love it. Thank you for sharing. Thank you so much. This is hits close to home for me.

[Stephanie]

I vote for this one....the part, "my home was broken when I was married" almost made me cry. I never thought of it that way. It sure feels better to know that no matter what your circumstance, there's someone out there going through the same thing. We are all here to love and support each other. Ok I'm gonna cry again....